What She's Doing Now
by Mia Sedai
Summary: Songfic to Garth Brook's What She's Doing Now. Harry and Ron miss their best friend who left without a word five years ago. COMPLETE


A/N: this all belongs to JK Rowling, and I am forever in her debt for creating the Harry Potter universe. This is a short songfic I did to the song What She's Doing Now by Garth Brooks. There may be a sequel, but I haven't decided. Either way, I hope you like it.

---

_Last time I saw her it was turning colder  
But that was years ago  
Last I heard she had moved to Boulder  
But where she's now I don't know  
But there's something about this time of year  
That spins my head around  
Takes me back makes me wonder  
What she's doing now_

Autumn had hit full force at last. The wind was howling, the sky was grey, and everyone with a little sense was fast asleep in their beds. It was in the middle of the night, now, but Harry could not sleep. He was wide awake, staring up into the roof and thinking. It had been five years since he had seen her last, since anyone had seen her, and as always the coming of autumn brought back all the memories.

They had been best friends for years. He knew her as well as he knew himself, or at least he used to think he did. They had had a rough start, but they never thought about it, except for the occasional laugh when they were in the mood for reminiscing. It had been more and more seldom, however, as the times got darker, and once the war was over she was gone. The only thing left was two short notes - one for him, and one for Ron. She said she was sorry, but she had to do it. She loved them dearly, they were her best friends, no one could ever replace that, but what had happened, what she had seen… she couldn't stay. The memories were too hard.

He got out of bed and over to the window. Outside the trees were bent over by the wind, and the rain that fell made his stomach churn. It had been on a day like this that she had gone, and though he didn't think about her as much now as he had done once, a night like this was sure to bring everything back.

_'Cause what she's doing now is tearing me apart  
Filling up my mind and emptying my heart  
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows  
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doing now_

"Harry what's wrong?"  
His wife's voice came from the bed, and he turned around slowly, but he stayed where he was.  
"I'm just thinking about Hermione," he said silently and looked down. Ginny got to her feet and came and stood beside him, clutching his hand.  
"I know. I have been thinking about her a lot lately, as well. I suppose it is the weather."  
He nodded. "Yes. And it is driving me crazy not knowing where she is, or what she is doing. Every time the wind blows like this it is just as if I can hear her voice calling out for me, and I know that if I could only talk to her then everything would work out. I just need to hear it from her why she left."  
Ginny stroked his arm carefully and sighed. "You know why she left, Harry. She said so in her letter."  
But the answer didn't make him feel any better. In fact, it only upset him more.  
"The memories? She couldn't take the memories? And how did she think the rest of us felt? You didn't see us running off like scared chicken, did you?"  
  
He was angry now. She had had no right doing what she did! They needed her, couldn't she see that? They were going to pieces without her. She had been their safe haven when everything went wrong. She had been their support when life was crushing them. She had been the one who always knew what to do. Without her they were lost, and she knew that! She had been their friend, their support and their strength. She had been their Hermione. And they needed her. He needed her. And he didn't know how he could manage to go on without her.

_Just for laughs I dialled her old number  
But no one knew her name  
Hung up the phone sat there and wondered  
If she'd ever done the same  
I took a walk in the evening wind  
To clear my head somehow  
But tonight I lie here thinking  
What she's doing now_

In a different part of town a tiny brown owl fluttered through the storm. It stopped outside a bedroom window, the only window in the house where there was still light. It pecked on the glass, clinging to the windowsill with all its might. Inside a red haired man was pacing the floor restlessly, and when he saw the owl he ran to the window, wrung it open and then hurried to shut it against the storm.

"Did you find her?" he asked while tearing off the letter that was tied to the owl's leg. The handwriting on the envelope was unfamiliar, and his heart sank as he read the contents of the letter.

_Dear Mr. Weasley,_

_We are sorry to inform you that the Hermione Granger you are seeking is not in our care, and also that we know of no one with that name. We are very sorry, and hope that your search will bring her to you at last._

_Best,_

_Mrs. Janet Higgins._

He sighed heavily and threw the letter into the wall. Someone had tipped him off that they knew of a woman with that name in a city called Boulder, and that he should try to reach her there. But his attempt had been futile, and instead of finding Hermione he had received letter upon letter claiming that they knew no one with that name, and they wished him all the best in his future search.

"All the best in my future search," he muttered. "There will be no future search. I am done. If she doesn't want to be found then there is nothing I can do. Hermione is gone, and that is that. End of story."

But as he lay down on his bed, alone in the night, he couldn't sleep, as thoughts of the girl he had once known kept running through his head. His heart was aching, and as he fell asleep in the early morning rain he knew that he would have to learn to live without her.

_  
_

_'Cause what she's doing now is tearing me apart  
Filling up my mind and emptying my heart  
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows  
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doing now_

With morning came the sun, but both Harry and Ron felt restless. Their best friend was gone, and as always the memory of her made them both die inside, a little more each year. They had been the perfect trio, but now the triangle was broken, and it was just the two of them left.

They met up at a café for lunch, and they knew right away what the other was thinking.  
"Did you get an answer?" Harry asked as they sat down after ordering the food.  
Ron shook his head. "Nothing. You know, Harry, I don't think she wants to be found."  
The words came out slowly, painfully. "We might as well give up."  
Harry looked at his friend and shook his head. "We have got to try one more time. One last time. We will send one letter with Hedwig and one with Pig. Between the two of them they are bound to find her."  
His voice was pleading now, begging Ron to try just one more time.  
"Ok. But Harry, we have got to stop after this. It is almost as if it is making it all worse. I want to find her, I really do. God, I _need_ to find her. But this is it. If she doesn't want to be found, then all our attempts are futile."  
Harry nodded and brought out two pieces of parchment.  
"We write one each, and we tell her exactly how we feel. Ok?"  
"Ok."

_Dear Hermione,_

_I am trying one last time to make you see that you need to come back. We have tried to reach you all over the world, but no one knows where you are. You can't just have disappeared off the face of the planet, that is impossible._

_I have been thinking about you a lot lately. Ginny says I need to let go, but I can't. We are married now, you know. And we really missed you at our wedding. Ginny may be pregnant, and we have decided to name our firstborn after you. If it is a girl, that is. Oh and, don't tell anyone because it is supposed to be a secret, although I think Ron may suspect something._

_Hermione please come back. I need you. And if it is possible Ron needs you even more. He is about to give up, Hermione, and you know he never gives up. It breaks my heart to see him like this. He doesn't look like himself at all. Merlin knows, I probably don't either._

_This is my last letter, Hermione. I don't even know if you will get it. But I will say this: please come back. Or at least give us a sign that you are alive. Whatever it was that made you leave we can work through. Please. I miss you. I miss you so much._

_Your friend,_

_Harry._

_---_

_Dear Hermione,_

_I don't know how to start this letter, because quite frankly I don't think you will ever read it. But Harry said to try one last time, and I will._

_There are so many things I wish I could tell you. So much has happened. Harry and Ginny got married at last. And don't tell anyone I said this, but I think Ginny may be pregnant. Can you imagine Harry as a father? I know I can't. But then, he is so good at everything he does, so I suppose he will do that perfectly as well._

_My life is quite the same as always. I just moved back to the Burrow, to help dad out at the Ministry. I don't know how long I will stay for, though. Just to make sure everything is ok, I suppose. Mum and dad are fine, as well, and they miss you so much. They all do._

_Hermione, please come back. I am going crazy without you. I don't know what to do half the time, and I need you around to help me. You know, I read Hogwarts: a history. You should be proud of me. I figured there had to be something interesting in there, since you kept on quoting it all the time…_

_Harry said to be honest in this letter and I will. Hermione, I am dying without you. Every day my heart aches just a little more. Every day it gets a little harder to get up. And it is all because of you. I will stop searching for you now, because I have to move on. But if you read this, and if you ever really loved me, then please come back. I love you, Hermione. And I need you. Harry does too, but he has Ginny. I have no one. At least no one like you._

_This will be my last letter, and I hope you understand. Hermione, if you ever loved me, if only just as your friend, then at least answer, so I can know you are safe. And just for the record, I will always love you, and I won't ever forget you._

_Always,_

_Ron._

"That's it then?" Ron asked as he tied his letter to Pig's foot.  
Harry nodded. "That's it. If she gets it she will know we are serious. And if she doesn't…"  
He trailed off, not knowing what else to say.  
"If she doesn't at least we tried," Ron completed.  
"Yes. At least we tried."

_'Cause what she's doing now is tearing me apart  
Filling up my mind and emptying my heart  
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows  
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doing now_


End file.
